Probably my favorite thing about being so active on Twitter over the past year has been the friendships I’ve established with complete strangers. Perhaps it’s the irony or the inkling of taboo, but something really attracts me to the notion that people can actually connect personally without connecting in person. I can see how some might find it odd that I correspond with so many “strangers” on a daily basis, but the fact that I’m not wearing a wife-beater and underwear, sitting in my parents basement listening to Air Supply and eating rice pudding makes me feel completely uncreepy about it. Almost all the people I talk to on Twitter are those whose opinion/art/humor I respect, which brings me to the blood and guts of this post. Below is a list of some of the “strangers” in my life that I’d strongly suggest you get to “know.” These folks are the future of the internet as expression, and who knows, maybe one day I’ll actually crack open a beer with them.
Hillary’s blog, The Bank, is an irreverent and quirky look at fashion and pop culture, covering everything from Dries Van Noten to Serena van der Woodsen. If nothing else, it makes me feel young, unlike MTV, which just makes me feel…well, old. Read more »
Anyone who has ever worked with me knows that I am an EPIC procrastinator. My dream would be to have all the time in the world to do absolutely nothing, which is probably why I love Highlander as much as this dude. Lately, though, my laziness has reached dizzying heights and I’m starting to worry that my destiny to change the world is slipping through my chubby little Vienna sausage fingers. Here is the list of things I plan on tackling if I can ever just muster the energy to put on clean underwear, rinse out the coffee pot and find my keys (see Matt’s earlier post).
1.) Create a standardized application to easily identify fautties
What is a “fauttie” you ask? Well, it’s a faux hottie. We all know ‘em. These are the ugly girls who find the one picture that was taken at just the right angle in just the right lighting on the 3rd Sunday of a July in a Leap Year coinciding with the sacrifice of a flaxen haired Protestant virgin, and use THAT as their avatar. Read more »
Warner Bros. Exec:
Alright boys, hit me. And this had better not be another Lord of the Rings: Part 4 pitch.
Writer:
Yes sir. So, we were all just playing Xbox over here and we got this great idea to get together a bunch of guys from that movie DragonHeart and make a new version of, get ready… Clash of the Effing Titans!
Warner Bros. Exec:
…Are you drunk right now?
Writer:
A little. Okay, okay, so when you think of Clash of the Titans, what do you think of? The charm and timelessness of the stop motion sequences in the original, right? Well, what’s more charming and timeless right now than 3D?
A good chocolate shake is like Oprah, thick and rich. Watch my emotions and blood sugar level fluctuate like O’s waistline in this quest for the best shake in the land.
Like any good wannabe Jehovah’s Witness, I’ve never been one to make a big deal about my birthday. Usually I just order a non-English speaking female escort and have a subdued Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pizza party for two. This year, however, is a little bit different. This year…on March 23…The Bird and the Bee are releasing Interpreting the Masters, Vol. 1: A Tribute to Daryl Hall and John Oates. That’s right, my favorite pop act of the last 10 years has recorded an album of cover songs from my favorite pop act of the last 30 years, and it drops on my birthday. My worlds haven’t collided this hard since I realized it was acceptable to have alcohol with breakfast on Sundays (you can call it “brunch” if you like, but it’s old fashioned alcoholism to me). Read more »
In honor of SXSW going down this week in Austin, I wanted to take a look back at one of the highlights from my recent trip to the city Money Magazine named #3 on their list of “2009’s Best Big Cities.” (I often pretend to read Money on the subway in an effort to more easily attract prostitutes in Lower Manhattan)
I had long heard great things about Austin, which was strange to me considering it is the capital of a state which elected George W. Bush to TWO four year terms as governor (a first in Texas history). You remember him, right? He’s the guy who proclaimed June 10, 2000 to be “Jesus Day” in Texas, and then went on to become President of the United States and was elected to another TWO terms. *sigh* What was I saying? Oh yeah, so anyway, when people were first telling me that Austin had this amazing music and arts scene, I was like: really? you mean these guys? Soon, though, I had no choice but to believe the hype, and since I knew someone who lived there, a trip was inevitable. Read more »
If you watched the Oscars on Sunday night then you already know that The Hurt Locker dominated the awards show, taking away a total of six awards. Hollywood blockbuster, Avatar did not win best picture but fittingly brought home the awards for Cinematography, Art Direction & Visual Effects. These results, which to most people would seem largely agreeable, have left U2 fans around the world scratching their heads and wondering, “Oy, what about Bono?”
It’s true, lead singer/humanitarian Paul Hewson (AKA “Bono”) did not receive a single Academy Award on Sunday night. “What’s worse,” comments one particularly disgruntled fan (Annie_CatDubh) “is that he wasn’t even nominated in the first place!” In a later post she added, “WTF!!!” Read more »
Okay. What the heck is going on? I feel like I just saw them a minute ago. They were right here, but now clearly, they’re not. How could they possibly not be right where I left them? Honestly, I feel like I’m losing my mind.
All right, calm down. I’ll just retrace my steps. The last time I remember having them on me I had just come in the door, hung up my garbage bag full of Cabbage Patch Kid limbs on the coat hanger, and set my keys here on the fireplace mantle. I remember I needed to warm up by the fire since it had been snowing outside and I was still naked at this point. Read more »
